I heard that a whole lot when Riley was a baby. The tilt of the head. The tut-tutting. The look that not just spoke but screamed, it’s a mistake. And then that simple sentence. ‘You’ll never do that with your second child.’ I guess the theory being that it’s all well and good to spoil an only child rotten but when it comes to more than that you’ll run out of the time, energy and inclination. Which is a fair point. Because on days like yesterday when I am mid toddler meltdown in the waiting room, I have a headache from ‘but why?’ being repeated every 5 seconds and I can literally feel myself scarring poor unsuspecting first-time mothers with each passing second, I often think. Two?! I can barely handle one. Although to be fair, the second won’t be able to move or talk for a long while. A fact vastly under-valued in babies in my opinion.
And given I’m just about to have my second (1-5 weeks depending on how keen the little one is on making their grand entrance) it’s about high time that I say some things that I might have to retract later. Because if I don’t give this baby the opportunity to make an ass out of me, well I’m hardly doing my job as a mother, am I? So here it is – the list of things that apparently I would never do with my second child, according to everyone who felt the need to voice an opinion when Riley was a baby. I have a good memory, baby brain or no baby brain.
1) You just have to let them cry. It’s good for them. It doesn’t hurt. You’ll realise it’s the best way.
2) Breast might be best, but you have to get them on the bottle as soon as possible, otherwise it’s just hard work.
3) You won’t be letting a second baby sleep in your bed for that long
4) It can’t be comfortable carrying them around in a sling. Isn’t she too big for it?
5) You won’t rock your second baby. They have to get used to going to sleep on their own
To which I have only one thing to say to all of the above: watch me.
However there are a few things that I know I will do differently that I could not relate to at all as a first-time mother:
1) I will forget how many weeks my baby is. I often forget how pregnant I am.
2) I will not be able to tell you how much they weigh on any given week.
3) I will not be feeling guilty about feeding to sleep, rocking to sleep or really any method of getting to sleep.
4) I highly doubt I will undertake the same level of baby proofing
5) I hope that I will be less of a stress-head, but this is me we are talking about. I won’t go making promises I can’t keep.
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