Parenting blogging bores me. Not reading parenting blogs. I love that. But writing one. I am so bored at the thought of it.
It’s hard to say I don’t want to write a parenting blog. Because I don’t want to undervalue motherhood or parenting. Writing a not-parenting blog is not a loftier pursuit, by any stretch of the imagination. And people should be able to write about being a parent or about their children and have an actual emotion about it without having a ‘just’ label slapped on them. Or without making what is written so much less than what it is.
When I started this blog I had a very definite idea about parenting. And I still have that idea. But I don’t care to argue it or defend it or promote it any more. And I don’t care to view any other parent through my filter. I’m passionate about people doing whatever makes them love being a parent, in whatever shape that may be. I don’t really care what that shape is. When I was a new parent, I probably looked down my judgey mcjudgey nose at people who were smacking their toddlers in the supermarket. Now? Well now I don’t think about their parenting style. I just think they are having a rough day, and man I’ve had a few of those. And I want to give them chocolate and wine.
Today Riley had a huge kicking, screaming tantrum when she was out with Josh. She’s going through something. She’s been cranky as hell, screaming all the time, whinging more and really oppositional with Piper. Just not herself. I spend a lot of time comforting her in the face of her own emotions. She has enough insight to know what her behaviour should be, but just not the self control to put it into practice all the time. She needs so much love at the moment. I took her for a long walk down by the lake because she needs as much one-on-one time as she can get. And I watched the sunlight dance in her hair for an afternoon. But I don’t really have anything to say about that anymore. I love her. It’s hard. It’s easy. Sometimes my mental health is subpar. Her inner light could set the world on fire. But that’s between her and me.
I could always write about parenting and motherhood because it is such a defining thing. And it will always create the tone of everything that I do. But I invest every part of myself into it, that I don’t want to pour my writing self into it as well. I want to step outside my box.
I don’t know how to write a not-parenting blog. Yet. But I’ve got time. It’ll come to me.