Parenting blogging bores me. Not reading parenting blogs. I love that. But writing one. I am so bored at the thought of it.
It’s hard to say I don’t want to write a parenting blog. Because I don’t want to undervalue motherhood or parenting. Writing a not-parenting blog is not a loftier pursuit, by any stretch of the imagination. And people should be able to write about being a parent or about their children and have an actual emotion about it without having a ‘just’ label slapped on them. Or without making what is written so much less than what it is.
When I started this blog I had a very definite idea about parenting. And I still have that idea. But I don’t care to argue it or defend it or promote it any more. And I don’t care to view any other parent through my filter. I’m passionate about people doing whatever makes them love being a parent, in whatever shape that may be. I don’t really care what that shape is. When I was a new parent, I probably looked down my judgey mcjudgey nose at people who were smacking their toddlers in the supermarket. Now? Well now I don’t think about their parenting style. I just think they are having a rough day, and man I’ve had a few of those. And I want to give them chocolate and wine.
Today Riley had a huge kicking, screaming tantrum when she was out with Josh. She’s going through something. She’s been cranky as hell, screaming all the time, whinging more and really oppositional with Piper. Just not herself. I spend a lot of time comforting her in the face of her own emotions. She has enough insight to know what her behaviour should be, but just not the self control to put it into practice all the time. She needs so much love at the moment. I took her for a long walk down by the lake because she needs as much one-on-one time as she can get. And I watched the sunlight dance in her hair for an afternoon. But I don’t really have anything to say about that anymore. I love her. It’s hard. It’s easy. Sometimes my mental health is subpar. Her inner light could set the world on fire. But that’s between her and me.
I could always write about parenting and motherhood because it is such a defining thing. And it will always create the tone of everything that I do. But I invest every part of myself into it, that I don’t want to pour my writing self into it as well. I want to step outside my box.
I don’t know how to write a not-parenting blog. Yet. But I’ve got time. It’ll come to me.
When I first started blogging (with my original blog which is no defunct) I really struggled being classed as a ‘mummy blogger’. I am a Mum, yes, I am a blogger, yes, but do I have to be a mummy blogger? Well, no and yes. See confused much? The conclusion that I have drawn is that I am human. I am a woman. I am a mother. I am a business owner. I am so many things. And I want my blog to represent that. My blog is a way to express me and what is going on in that moment. I may blog about tantrums and snotty noses from time to time, but I also blog about stuff in my head, far beyond just parenting. And I think you do too. So yes, you can write a non-parenting blog. x
This helped me realize that I don’t need to be scared that I’m not updating my blog often because I thought my personal blog was to include stories of me as a mother and my life with my children. Now, I’m relieved that others in my position are using their blogs to express things happening in their life as a whole, not just as a mother. Hopefully, this will make me update my personal blog more often!
I’m sure whatever you pour your writing self into, will be beautiful. I’m glad you write. Parenting or non-parenting. It’s a goodgoog’s vibe, anyway you look at it
Zoey, I love your writing and your photography so I’ll read your blog whatever direction you take – I hope you do find a direction that suits you and your need to write.
The “not wanting to parent blog” thing is why I had to leave Bad Mummy and start again.
I’m still finding my feet as a lifestyle blogger, still not 100% sure what my niche is, but I know it’s not parenting.
I think part of why I stopped blogging was exactly the reason you mention….my dealings with Alexa are between us now. I don’t really have to write it out because I talk it out with her. I don’t care to share it with the world because it’s personal now…more than vague and wide reaching. Sure, lots of moms are out there going through the same issues as me…but I can’t see to find the time or the energy to share it with anyone outside of my “circle”.
Everything I’m dealing with in babyland is basically the same as 3 years ago. No real need to revisit all those topics.
I’m a big fan of the ‘lifestyle’ blog. I love reading people’s thoughts,ideas and philosophies … About life. About their particular interests. I think that’s how you write a non- parenting blog
I’m with Kelly. In any case I come by for *how* you write, not just what you write about, so I know I’d keep popping back when I get the chance. Good luck with the shift.
I think you are right. Not to self: Must develop interests outside of parenting
HA! That’s my issue!
Ahhh, this is perfect! More often then not, I do write about parenting BUT there are plenty of times that I don’t. I love the idea of a ‘lifestyle’ blog
I made the move as well, very happy I did. It can be confronting at times, because I don’t always know what I want to talk about! I’m trying hard not to define a niche for myself, yet frustratingly, I’m still labelled a mum blogger at times and pitched mummy things regardless.
Like you, it’s not to say that I don’t value being a parent. I do, highly. I just needed something different to write about. When I started my mum blog, two of my kids were very small, and that really was all that was going on in my life at the time. Moving to more personal blogging is allowing me to slowly discover myself.
I’ve come to a crossroad with my blog too. I used to be so passionate about expressing issues that I faced or observed but now I don’t really feel like doing it. I was tempted to just up and delete the whole thing but instead I just took a step back and edited a few bits and pieces.I too have my way and don’t feel like I have to talk about it and also see other parents struggling and want to give them some kind of comfort!
Best,
Lily Mae