Plenty of people don’t like the baby stage. There’s all kinds of things not to like. The sleep deprivation that causes you to at times be a barely functioning human, hardly even capable of holding an intelligent conversation, or faking one. Then there’s the challenge of even getting out of the house, or showering uninterrupted (or even alone) or trying to comfort them when they just seem inconsolable. Baby’s needs can seem never-ending and they can’t talk to you, so you’re left to struggle on the best you can. Well they communicate just fine, but crying isn’t always the most definitive of mechanisms.
But I love the baby stage. Because it’s simple. It might be hard and even gruelling at times, particularly as far as sleep goes. But you don’t have to worry about discipline or boundaries or an opportunity for teaching or anything else that becomes increasingly necessary as they start to become little people. And let’s face it, once you have a toddler running around the place, the benefit of a baby that doesn’t move at all start to become very obvious.
I’m quite happy to hang on to my babies for as long as possible (including my toddler-sized baby). It’s only a matter of time before she starts pre-school. Although I can see she’s pretty close to being ready, the lure of time to myself is well overshadowed by the unbridled panic of seeing my baby take those first steps away from me and on her own. The fact that there will be times when she will want me to comfort a hurt (physical or emotional) and I won’t be there makes me feel ill. Very ill.
I won’t be rushing the jellybean through their baby stage either. I’m not in a hurry to return to things in my pre-baby life. Not that I didn’t love all of those things or that I don’t occasionally miss a bit of freedom here or there. But I like that my life has changed. That it’s different. That there’s something beyond myself in it. Which is probably why I’m the person who would be quite happy to have lots of babies. And while husband has back-pedalled to 3, I’m sticking with 5. I’m sure this won’t cause any conflict in the future.
Feel free to remind me of this when I’m at the end of my rope at 3am in the morning and the baby won’t go to sleep. It’s only fair.
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I, too, love the baby stage. . . I’m STARTING to embrace the toddler stage now that Abbey is hitting 2 1/2. The period between 16 months and 2 1/2 was really really grueling, for all the obvious reasons (toddler wants something and can’t/won’t use words to tell you. . . pushing all the limits, and mommy constantly having to be on guard and ready with guidance. . . evil, awful teething . . . separation anxiety. . . etc).
It’s the in between that’s stressful for me.
So I am so ready for the baby stage with this new little one – and ready to enjoy the older toddler stage with Abbey
I love the baby stage. So much that I, too, would be happy to keep on having babies just to have one around. They grow up too quick though and then what do I do with all the kids when they are not babies anymore?
If only we could get them to stop growing up so quickly
In between stages are really hard. I found with Riley that one of her really challenging in-between stages was 2 1/2 until now. That’s when she suddenly became incredibly rigid, tantrum prone and defiant. And I began to feel like I must have been doing something seriously wrong! But it’s been a whole lot better lately – I guess it’s just one of those development things that they grow out of.
I was just talking to my niece about this very thing yesterday. Her son is 3 months old, and she called me yesterday to ask about sleep issues etc.
The thing that I dislike the most is not knowing what to expect during the night. Will I go to bed and get 2 hours of sleep before I’m woken? 4? How many times will I get up? Oh, gosh look -it’s 11pm and I haven’t gone to bed yet, by my calculations I might only get 4 hours of broken sleep tonight. How will I cope tomorrow? If the baby wakes at 4.30am for a feed and the toddler is up at 6am, I won’t get any sleep from 4.30am!!!
When I see parents with newborns, that’s all I can focus on. Knowing that they’re getting up in the middle of the night. I can’t go back there!
Having said that, especially with my third son, I had to be organised to get kids to school and daycare, so in actual fact, it was rather manageable. And I found I coped FAR better with lack of sleep with the last two babies, than I did with my first. My body was used to it. And I regularly function very well on only 6 hours a sleep a night.
Oh, but the hair of newborn babies. That lovely smooth, gorgeous head of hair. LOVE.
There’s up and down sides of all ages! There are days I’d swap my 4yr old for a newborn getting me up in the night. Far less torturous!
I’ve always said to myself, “Don’t wish their life away.” Because yup – it flies by.
You have a great outlook, hon.
xx
This is precisely why I abolished clocks and all other forms of time-keeping devices when Riley was a baby. Because looking at the time, and knowing how little time I had to sleep stressed me out far more than the reality! Didn’t have an iPhone back then though – I wonder if I can switch it off on that too?
I’m not in love with the idea of babies though much prefer it to the being pregnant stage which I AM NOT good at. I am with you though, I don’t wish any of the stages away, whatever they may be. xxx
I don’t think any of us appreciate the baby stage until the toddler years are here!
Yes! I was far too desperate for her to talk, walk, do things for herself
Despite severely disliking the last stages of pregnancy, I must admit I have been really enjoying the time with my toddler. I know that this will be one of the last times that we are really going to be spending time just the two of us, and it’s pretty precious.
While I am totally smitten with my own babies I’m sorry to say I’m much more at ease with the older stage. I have a 6.4.2 who are almost ready to start turning 7,5,3. I love helping them learn, seeing them engage with life and getting more sleep at night!!!!!(Sleep deprivation did horrible things to my personality:) I get my regular ‘newborn fix’ from other’s babies now. They are delicious and like the smell of mangos in the supermarket – very alluring. But far to much work for me. I have a girl friend who like you loves the baby stage and she now has 6!! She is a fabulous mother to them all and I think if you have that in you it would be such a shame not to have lots – GO YOU
Everytime I am about to write a post I read something you’ve written on the exact same topic – love it! I feel the same as you and whenever would hear ppl saying “I want them close together so I can just ‘get through’ the early years” I’d think “I don’t want to ‘just get through, I want to enjoy it’”. I still do feel like that but I also feel like I “get it” a bit more now and while I don’t want to rush through it – this is such a unique stage of life – I don’t want to prolong it either, with large age gaps etc… because as unique and beautiful as this stage is ,it’s also REALLY hard work! Does that make sense? (btw I used to want 5, I’ve backpeddled to 4 which is where we both currently sit though very much taking 1 at a time!)
I know what you mean. Having a longer age gap between Riley and this baby than I had hoped for means that just as she’s almost completely done with all things baby (sleep, nappies, etc) I’ll be thrown into the deep end again! And I think it will be a rude shock going from a toddler whose capable of making her own breakfast, part-dressing herself and communicating everything to a newborn. I can see why in some ways it would be easier to have another baby while you’re still in the baby stage and used to it!
it’s so hard to say – I’ve really loved every stage. The baby stage is lovely and as demanding as toddlers can be – you just can’t beat it when they start talking and you can actually see their personalities coming out. So I’ll probably be just as in love with the later stages as well!
I’m one who struggled with the baby stage. I never had good sleepers and I always felt out of control. On the other hand I ADORE toddlers, I want to keep my kids as toddlers forever.
I love the toddler stage too. I love listening to slightly mispronounced words. The first ‘i love you’ and watching their little minds tick over with every new discovery.
I loved being pregnant and I really loved the baby stage of each of my kids. Toddler stages too, early school years…I loved the newborn stage the best, and would have happily had many babies just to have a newborn in the house. Sensibly, I stopped at four. After all, the dining table ony had six chairs.
We seriously need a bigger house if I plan to have any more than two children. And a bigger car as well. Fitting myself and two kids in my hatchback is going to be a stretch as it is.
I loved the baby stage, I wasn’t as wild about the toddler stage until they could articulate what on earth was wrong. But now they are all growing up so fast I keep thinking wistfully about ‘just one more….’
I think the stages that I really struggle with are the in-between phases – when their abilities haven’t quite caught up with what they want to do or say. And although I have days where it seems like Riley has been fighting me on every, single, little thing from dawn until dusk it’s still a beautiful age.
I’m a ‘get it over with asap’ girl. I like it better when they can TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG!
I was never one of those mums who could tell the difference between a hungry/change me/cuddle me type cry either. Trail and error all the way
Based on everyone’s comments I’m thinking that maybe I’m looking back at the stage with rose-coloured glasses! We’ll see