I didn’t even know what I was hoping for when I did the test. I really want to be not pregnant for New York. Somehow not being able to drink at all and feeling deathly ill are just not high on my agenda.
But I can’t ever conceive of doing a pregnancy test and wanting it to be negative.
Pregnancy tests are evil. Trying to conceive makes me absolutely insane. Even when I’m not actually trying to conceive it would seem.
And the pregnancy test was negative. And my head was relieved, but my heart was sad.
And then this afternoon I did another test. Which is so dumb. Because my levels would be lower being the afternoon anyway. Because I’ve already done a test and it was negative. As I said pregnancy tests = evil and me + trying to conceive = freaking crazy.
So now I have an afternoon of feeling grossly nauseous and it’s for no good reason. Unimpressed.
The only thing that was good about this is knowing that this standing up type of baby will not have to share with a newborn blob type of baby quite so soon. She can just keep on being the only baby for a bit. I don’t like pregnancy tests. I don’t like trying to conceive, even when we are not and it was kind of like trying to conceive by accident. But I do like the idea of holding on to just that little bit more of the Squishy’s precious babydom.