blogher12

Looking Up

Posted on August 16, 2012 Leave a Comment

In my normal life, I spend a whole lot of time looking directly in front of me. I look at the trail of destruction that I will eventually have to clean up. I look at the pile of dishes that stacks up until I am forced to wash it or starve. I look at the erratic line that Riley is walking to make sure she is not making too much of a nuisance of herself in public. I look at Piper’s line of sight to see what she is giggling at. I look at the amazing art works that Riley brings home from preschool. And I look at the scope of her imagined play. But I don’t look around that much. And I rarely look up.

It is a family joke (or was before I banned them from mocking me in my presence) that I was always off with the fairies. And that when someone pointed out a fire engine on the road, I would look up at the sky.

Which is the great thing about a bit of time and space to yourself. You can remember who you are. And look up.

Iphoneography. Yes. It’s a thing.

Posted on August 4, 2012 12 Comments

I went to a session today on Iphoneography. It was my favourite session so far at BlogHer. Hard to say exactly why it was my favourite. Except I think that the presenters were so warm and generous with their knowledge. And their passion shone through like a light that touches everything.

You know what I love about conferences? Is how it shines a light on what you don’t know and what you do know. And you gain a whole lot of confidence in what you do know. And you get shown the great giant cavern of a gap in what you don’t know. I love finding out what I don’t know the best. I love seeing that gap falling away in front of me – a great, immense cavity of space.

What I don’t know about Iphoneography could fill a book. But I now have all sorts of things to fill that great big cavern of space. Like experiments and tips and tools and apps. But they will only take up a little bit of space. The thing that will really fill that whole is creativity. Or at least that is what I will try to fill that whole with.

I’ve had a few comments about my instagram feed since I’ve been here. Positive comments. I assume that this is because I have been away from my children and people bored of the baby/preschooler spam are relieved. And I’m obsessed with taking photos of lights. At home, lights are one globe and they are not really worth taking a photo of. But here, everything is so architectual, it’s fascinating.

I listened to the Voice of the Year keynote. It was amazing. I had not read any of the posts that were read out before. And it showcased transcendent talent. Voices that were so brilliant that the medium of blogging was kind of inconsequential to their brilliance. And as I listened to their full voices I considered my own voice as well. And how I’d like to write like that but I don’t. Not in a self pity way. But in a marveling at the glorious magic of beloved words kind of way. The space in front of me stretched out. But that space isn’t about me. It’s about words that comfort your bones.

I’ve surprised myself by forsaking the technical at this conference for the visual. I have that feeling that I am half way in between blogging and photo blogging and maybe I just want to move a little bit closer to photo blogging. I see the great big expanse of space in front of me. And it’s not scary. It’s just room to move.

Blogher and Embracing the Unbridled Panic

Posted on August 3, 2012 4 Comments

Sometimes you have to get out of your own way. And sometimes that is hard. And sometimes putting yourself out there and expecting to get the same result as you have always had your whole life, and getting an entirely different one instead changes everything.

I Missed the Punch Line

Posted on August 1, 2012 1 Comment

I don’t really understand modern art. I always feel like I’m missing the punch line.

But at MOMA, I did found some words I liked.

Even in a multimedia exhibit which is normally the pinnacle of what I don’t get

And I liked more buildings

So we escaped into central park

We also saw this at MOMA. Um, geek alert!

But I think these were my favorite words

Obsessed with these lightposts. It’s a sickness

I missed the babies. Lots. And was a wee bit mopey. Ok. A lot mopey. I cried.

But it didn’t stop me having my breath taken away

One day in New York

Posted on July 31, 2012 10 Comments

On the way to coffee

I could take photos of buildings for hours (and I did)

Yep. More buildings.

And a bit of shopping.

And shopping for walking shoes.

Oh look. More buildings.

I’m going to go with sinner.

Taxis, taxis everywhere but we walked anyway!

We happened on this park by accident. Accidents are the best part.

Oh me too, NYC

But this was the most beautiful thing I saw.

New York!

Posted on June 12, 2012 15 Comments

New York planning has commenced. We are away for 12 days. But really once you take into account travel time we get about 9 days there. And then when you take into account BlogHer that’s about 6 days together. Which means the highly itinerary-loving husband has gone into full planning mode. Which is awesome. We make an excellent travelling pair for this very reason. We would totally win the Amazing Race. Not joking.

So far suggestions have been:

1. Some green lady we should see
2. The Brooklyn Bridge
3. Cupcakes Anyone? (The answer is yes, just in case you were wondering)
4. A Broadway Show
5. Guggenheim

And I am all ears for any other suggestions. In all honesty, I’m mostly excited about the eating. If that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.

At this moment the OMG I have wanted to go to New York for what feels like my entire life is outweighing the Holy CRAP I am going to miss my babies. I keep smelling the baby’s neck as if I’m stocking up on it. But the excitement has the edge at this moment. I’m going to go with that.

I’m Going

Posted on May 8, 2012 6 Comments

In a matter of months I’ll be there. On my own dime. Which is a small miracle given we had to spend more money than I ever want to think about on car repairs.

Mr Goog is in full itinerary planning mode.

I’m ignoring the fact that I will be leaving the babies for nearly two weeks. But I feel so much better for having gone to Melbourne for 4 days and knowing that even though it’s a longer trip they will be so fine. And they will be getting to spend so much awesome time with their grandma.

And it would have been nice to have been able to drum up some sponsorship to soften the financial blow, I won’t lie. But at the same time it’s nice to go over there with no obligations whatsoever. And there’s a certain amount of pride I take in it too.

So if you are going to BlogHer de-lurk!! I want to know! Also if you have any hot tips about what I should do with my time over there as well I am all ears.

Wreck

Posted on November 30, -0001 4 Comments

I’d like to write about how excited I am to go to New York. I’d like to write about how I know my girls are going to be ok. About how I know I’m going to be ok. And about how I’m ok that I’m ok. But this isn’t that post.

I veer violently and unpredictably between excitement and terror. I count down the days and can’t wait for a break and to be alone. And I choke back tears every time I hold one of my babies. And I think ‘Holy crap! What the hell have I done?!’ far too often.

I find myself soaking in details. Like Riley whispering to me secrets about the NumberJacks while I memorise her curly hair and her bright eyes and her heart chin. And Piper crawling up on to my chest for a bit more of a snooze in the middle of the day. So I’m your basic hot mess.

And when I watch the #blogher12 twitter stream I’m overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people.

It would be easy to forget why I wanted to go in the first place. That the first time I took SLR (the old film kind) photos in Sydney and the place that developed them for me asked me when I got back from New York was the biggest compliment I could have received. For a brief period I was a film critic. Until I worked out that I didn’t really like being a critic, I just liked being a fan. But I was always more of a fan when New York was breathed into the narrative fabric of the story. And if I could get lost in New York in a movie, I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to get spectacularly lost in real life. And that’s a good thing. I love getting lost.

BlogHer is going to be awesome. And although I’ll probably never be able to afford to go again, I’m glad I’m going, at least one time. But it’s not the reason I’m going. And I’ll try to remember that. I’ll try to remember that person who was so sure she was going to move there, before life and motherhood altered that course. But you don’t always get to have your dreams show up in a perfect package. Sometimes they show up in a slightly more complicated one. I’m a mother and I’m a wreck. But I’m still going.

Taking My Blog Back

Posted on November 30, -0001 24 Comments

Things can slip away from you when you are not paying attention. Bit by bit. Piece by piece. Until you are standing somewhere you don’t recognise. Blogs can be like that. A blog can be eroded by things that you think you should do, instead of gaining strength from what you want to do.

I no longer wish to grow my blog. That’s one thing that I learnt while I was away. So I don’t need to do things like share my posts on twitter multiple times, or post every day or build my social media following.

I only want to post something if I am really proud of it. Too often I’d just put up an image, even if it wasn’t a particularly good one and write a rambling post. And now, I won’t. I hope I will post several days a week, but it might be one or it might be none. But everything I put up I will be happy with.

I am going to be on social media to be there. I am there to have fun. I am there to share things that I create so that people will connect with them. So I’m no longer worried about the conversation happening on my blog. I am using social media as a digital publishing medium rather than a link following medium.

I hope that after all of that I will be back in my own house. Not outside of it, wondering where the hell I left my keys.