Welcome to the May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have waxed poetic about how their parenting has inspired others, or how others have inspired them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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I think I can safely say that I have not influenced anyone (in real life) to adopt attachment parenting ideals. And I’m pretty sure that I haven’t really influenced anyone on this blog either, I’d put money on them being that way inclined before they got here. Which is exactly as it should be. Adopting a style of parenting is a deeply personal thing. I don’t think people should be easily influenced by friends or family or blogs. Most of the time going with your gut is always a good plan.
Which leaves me in a somewhat awkward position for the this month’s theme. Who have I inspired. I think I’ve inspired me, that’s about it. I’ve been inspired to take the time to be with my daughter. I’ve been inspired to relish every co-sleeping minute. I’ve been inspired to inform my parenting by voracious reading. And I’ve been inspired to document it all in internet-land.
Luckily for me, I have an out. Due to a lot of people having difficulty with this month’s theme – it’s ok for me to write about who inspired me. I’m taking the easy way out on this one. And I’m ok with that.
In the beginning, I felt no kinship with anything in the attachment parenting camp, really. I didn’t want to co-sleep, I felt like breastfeeding for 6 months was a great act of benevolence on my part and I most certainly did not want the baby in our room. It was perhaps, an inauspicious beginning.
And in the end, I didn’t need a role model or a mentor or anyone else to change my mind. It was changed for me when Riley was born. Instead of maintaining my somewhat ambivalent attitude towards breastfeeding I fought tooth and nail to get through the worst pain of my life to feed her. I discovered that co-sleeping had many added benefits like not having to get out from under the doona in the freezing cold and having the ability to check that our daughter was still breathing every 10 seconds without having to get out of bed.
I dabbled with structured feeding times once. And everything about it felt wrong. My little baby had just been fed an hour a go and was now screaming for more – I was not going to wait until the allotted time to feed her. I mean, sometimes I get hungry right after I’ve eaten too. The human body is weird.
I may not have had inspiration from other people, but I had pretty awesome support. From people of all different parenting styles, who respected mine. And sometimes, just knowing that you’re not the only one rocking a one year old at 3am in the morning is enough to get you through.
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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- Woman Seeking Inspiration — Seeking Mother’s struggles and joys to find her own path in motherhood have inspired others — to her surprise! (@seekingmother )
- Paving the Way — Jessica at This is Worthwhile makes a conscious effort every day to be a role model. (@tisworthwhile )
- No Rules Without Reason — The Recovering Procrastinator wants to inspire her husband to discipline their children gently. (@jenwestpfahl)
- Creating a Culture of Positive Parenting Role Models — Michelle at The Parent Vortex shows parents at the playground how to do a front wrap cross carry and tells nurses about her successful home births, as a way of modeling natural parenting in public. (@TheParentVortex)
- Making A Difference for Mamas — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest took an embarrassing pumping incident at work and turned it into an opportunity for all the employees who breastfeed.
- Inspiring Snowflakes — Joni Rae at Tales of Kitchen Witch Momma is a role model for the most important people: her children. (@kitchenwitch)
- Paying it Forward — Amber at Strocel.com inspires new (and often scared) mamas with these simple words: “It will be OK.” (@AmberStrocel)
- A SAHD’s View on Parenting Role Models — Chris at Stay At Home Dad in Lansing doesn’t have many role models as a SAHD — but hopes to be one to his daughter. (@tessasdad)
- Am I a Role Model? A Review — Deb at Science@home brings attachment parenting out of the baby age and shows how it applies (with science fun!) to parenting through all of childhood. (@ScienceMum)
- Say Something Good — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick reminds women that it is within our right to be proud of ourselves without apology. (@RaisingBoychick)
- Try, Try Again — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis wants to inspire like the Little Engine that Could.
- I’m a Parenting Inspiration, Who Knew? — Sarah at OneStarryNight has received several beautiful comments about just what an inspiration she has been, if not in real life then definitely online. (@starrymom)
- That Little Thing — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing demonstrates the ripple effect, one status update at a time. (@BlkWmnDoBF)
- How Has Your Day Been? — mrs green @ littlegreenblog inspired her friend to be an active listener for her children. (@myzerowaste)
- No, Thank You! — If you are reading Maman A Droit’s post, you’ve probably inspired her. (@MamanADroit)
- My Top 3 Natural Parenting Principles — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now describes how her family’s natural and Montessori principles inspired others. (@DebChitwood)
- My Hope for a Better Life — Mandy at Living Peacefully With Children hopes her choices inspire her children toward a better life.
- Natural Parenting Felt Natural — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes didn’t plan on natural parenting — but her son led her there. (@sheryljesin)
- Rest. Is it even possible? — Janet at where birth and feminism intersect has found that even role models need rest — and that there are ways to fit it into everyday parenting life. (@feministbirther)
- May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model — Lauren at Hobo Mama was the fortunate recipient of a seed of inspiration, and has been privileged to plant some of those seeds herself, though she didn’t know it at the time. (@Hobo_Mama)
- crunchspiration — the grumbles at grumbles and grunts wants to inspire others to parent from their heart. (@thegrumbles)
- No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak)
- Upstream Parenting — Luschka at Diary of a First Child blogs for that one mother in one hundred who will find her words helpful. (@diaryfirstchild)
- Parenting Advice for the Girl from Outer Space — If Mommy Soup at Cream of Mommy Soup could give one piece of inspirational advice to new parents, it would be to parent with kindness. (@MommySoup)
- Natural Parenting Carnival — Role Model — Sarah at Consider Eden feels the pressure at trying — and failing — to live up to her role models. (@ConsiderEden)
- May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role Model — Dionna at Code Name: Mama encourages natural parenting mamas to take joy in the fact that they are touching lives and making a difference to children every day. (@CodeNameMama)
- Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom)
- My Seven — Danielle at born.in.japan has identified seven role models in her life who brought her to natural parenting. Who are your seven? (@borninjp)
- A Quiet Example — Alison at BluebirdMama was one of the first parents in her group of friends — and has come to see almost all those friends follow in her natural birthing footsteps, whether intentionally or not.
- Gentle Discipline Warrior — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries has inspired a gentle discipline movement — join her! (@babydust)
- Change The World… One Parent At A Time — Mamapoekie is more comfortable inspiring parents online than she is in real life. (@mamapoekie)
- Inspirational Parenting — pchanner at A Mom’s Fresh Start has intentionally tried to be a role model but was unprepared for how soon someone would take notice. (@pchanner)
- My Inspiration — Erin at A Beatnik’s Beat on Life has written thank-you letters to everyone who’s inspired her to become the lactivist and natural parenting advocate she is today. (@babybeatnik)
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
It is definitely a personal decision on what kind of parenting philosophy to adopt. But perhaps someone came here because they know you are a breastfeeding mama, and then they read something they never thought about before on gentle discipline. I’m sure you’ve inspired people who weren’t looking to be inspired
I’ll repeat something I’ve said on a couple of other CarNatPar writers’ posts today – don’t sell yourself short!.-= Dionna @ Code Name: Mama´s last blog ..The Joys of Breastfeeding a Toddler #5 =-.
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
You are an inspiration to me. I wish that I had been so sure of myself right from the first moments. I did take my cues from my son but instead of really being clear as to why things were really working or not working on various issues by tuning into my own mother’s instincts, I turned to others and books to tell me what to do. I absolutely believe that the baby sets the course for what is needed. Your flexibility and willingness to recognize this and adapt to it despite what you believed coming into motherhood is definitely something that will inform others. Nice post..-= michelle´s last blog ..Woman Seeking Inspiration =-.
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
It is definitely a personal decision on what kind of parenting philosophy to adopt. But perhaps someone came here because they know you are a breastfeeding mama, and then they read something they never thought about before on gentle discipline. I’m sure you’ve inspired people who weren’t looking to be inspired
I’ll repeat something I’ve said on a couple of other CarNatPar writers’ posts today – don’t sell yourself short!.-= Dionna @ Code Name: Mama´s last blog ..The Joys of Breastfeeding a Toddler #5 =-.
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
You are an inspiration to me. I wish that I had been so sure of myself right from the first moments. I did take my cues from my son but instead of really being clear as to why things were really working or not working on various issues by tuning into my own mother’s instincts, I turned to others and books to tell me what to do. I absolutely believe that the baby sets the course for what is needed. Your flexibility and willingness to recognize this and adapt to it despite what you believed coming into motherhood is definitely something that will inform others. Nice post..-= michelle´s last blog ..Woman Seeking Inspiration =-.
I bet you’ve inspired more people than you think. I’ve been surprised at some people who’ve visited my blog who were or are not natural parenting fans and whose perspectives were changed or at least challenged by what I’ve written. But I think it’s totally great that you let your daughter show you the way to parent her. That’s really beautiful, and so true..-= Lauren @ Hobo Mama´s last blog ..May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model =-.
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
You were inspired by the most important, littlest person in your life.
.-= Megan´s last blog ..Writing Out Loud =-.
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
I know what you’re saying. I found my way into attachment/natural parenting pretty much on my own. I wasn’t reading blogs back then. In fact I didn’t start until my daughter was 4, so my parenting values were pretty firmly in place. That being said I have learned a number of valuable things from this on-line community and it’s a wonderful place to have your values reconfirmed through other people’s experiences, and our questions answered by other people’s children. Maybe inspired isn’t the word, but it’s darn close..-= Melodie´s last blog ..Inspiration Goes Both Ways =-.
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
I think it is always important to not be influnced or swayed by other but to just take from them the knowledge and wisdom from their experiences to help build your own ideas. I can’t think of one person that soley influenced me because I pulled so many difference pieces from so many sources. And I am pretty satisfied with what I have ended up with..-= pchanner´s last blog ..Our Container Garden =-.
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Chris Singer, Lauren Wayne. Lauren Wayne said: Sometimes the only mentor you need is you own child. Just ask @zoeyspeak. #CarNatPar http://ht.ly/1JtZT [...]
Beautiful post. I guess the point of ‘natural’ parenting is just that – it is natural, which to my mind means it’s led by the child. I think you have the right idea here!.-= Luschka´s last blog ..Upstream Parenting =-.
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
I agree that just knowing there are other people out there doing the same things you’re doing, and in the same boat, can make a big difference. It has for me, for sure. That, in itself, is worthy enough inspiration for me..-= Amber´s last blog ..Paying it Forward =-.
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
[...] No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak) [...]
Just doing the things you are doing are inspiring! We always think something needs to be done on a grander scale to make an impact and that’s not always the case. You are AWESOME!.-= Sarah @ OneStarryNight´s last blog ..I’m a Parenting Inspiration, Who Knew! =-.
You’re very right that we are inspired by our children, to be the parents they need. And isn’t it ultimately true that we also inspire them? Either to parent the way we have, or not. I know which I would hope for. I know without ever consciously thinking about it, I am recreating a lot of my own childhood. I think that is the greatest possible compliment for my parents..-= Deb´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Science T-shirts =-.