It’s that time of month again. The dreaded two week wait. It’s getting very, very boring. I try not to think about symptoms, but it’s my body and there they are. Kind of tough to ignore. But there’s never anything definitive in the two week wait, so if I do get any symptoms, it still doesn’t mean anything. But still I can’t help it – constantly assessing tenderness, tiredness, food aversions – even hormonal pimples on my chin.
At the same time, I’m trying to prepare for the seemingly inevitable disappointment. And this is where things get really irrational. As though if I firmly believe that I am pregnant, or I hope for it, that the universe will slap me in the face with a big fat negative. Whenever I identify a new symptom, in my mind I try to come up with another reason why it might be there. All in the vain hope that I will be less disappointed by not raising my expectations.
A mere sampling of the neurosis:
| Pregnant | Totally Not Pregnant |
|---|---|
| Exhaustion and excessive napping. But let’s be honest – can any amount of napping really be excessive?! | I am sleep deprived and have a 2 year old who doesn’t sleep through. I don’t technically get out of bed in the middle of the night – but it’s still broken sleep. |
| Breast tenderness, aching. And started about a week earlier than it would normally. | Happens every month with PMS. This month it’s just early. Oh joy! I love when PMS lasts for two weeks, period for one. Giving me a whole 10 days of non-symptoms. That’s living! |
| Can’t stomach real coffee. Now that’s just cruel! | Still drinking instant coffee. Hardly food aversion. Obviously just becoming weak in my old age |
| Mid to upper backache | Hello? Somebody spends all manner of hours hunched over a laptop computer |
And really that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Don’t mind me, I’ll just be here, hoping that things get a whole lot worse. When enduring the two week wait, getting worse is the only thing that makes me feel any better.
‘
Pages: ‘, ‘after’ => ‘
‘, ‘next_or_number’ => ‘number’)); ?>
I know what you mean, I keep hoping I’ll feel like I’ve been hit in my lower back with an axe, that coffee will smell revolting and wine will taste like dust. Fingers crossed!
Exactly!! Bring on the grossness!
Here is for this getting worse, just not bad enough were you are on a bed rest and in a wheelchair while trying to take care of a toddler… but even then – it’s totally worth it. Sending pregnancy vibes your way.
That must be so incredibly challenging. Toddlers are such balls of energy. Thank-you for the vibes!
I know how you feel. During my last TWW I started to see a tiny bit of blood in my sinus mucus. Sounds disgusting I know, but I had that during my first pregnancy, so thought it could be a positive sign. TWW’s make you think ridiculous things…
I was the same last month. I had a bad cold and was convinced that was a pregnancy sign because I’d had a similar one just before getting pregnant the last time. Completely irrational.
Sprinkles of baby dust your way Zoey! I have everything crossed for you and Josh! x
Thanks Bron! I’m really hoping that the new fertility window has made the difference this month.
I know what you mean, I keep hoping I’ll feel like I’ve been hit in my lower back with an axe, that coffee will smell revolting and wine will taste like dust. Fingers crossed!
Here is for this getting worse, just not bad enough were you are on a bed rest and in a wheelchair while trying to take care of a toddler… but even then – it’s totally worth it. Sending pregnancy vibes your way.
I know how you feel. During my last TWW I started to see a tiny bit of blood in my sinus mucus. Sounds disgusting I know, but I had that during my first pregnancy, so thought it could be a positive sign. TWW’s make you think ridiculous things…
Sprinkles of baby dust your way Zoey! I have everything crossed for you and Josh! x
Oh, I completely understand – I’m sorry your symptoms have been so bad! Natalie is 5 months old, still nursing full-time, and so we’re not ‘trying’, but we’re not NOT trying, and every day that I’m tired or feel icky anywhere near the morning, I’m thinking…ooh, AM I?…maybe…
Praying that this will be your month!!! 
Thanks Carrie – didn’t realise you were ‘not not trying’. Good luck! I’ll be the same next time around – if this round takes the better part of 12 months – might as well get going early!
All I can say is I’m conjuring up as many baby vibes as I can muster and sending them your way. I could say just try to relax and what will be will be, but that is far easier said than done, so I won’t! Will see you on Twitter and catch up with all the news there.
GOOD LUCK! X
Thanks Lisa. I’ve been trying to focus on other things – sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t! I think the best thing for me to do at times like this is to really appreciate all the one-on-one time I have with Riley because (hopefully) this will be the only period of my life where I have just the one
Two-week wait? Clearly you aren’t buying your pregnancy tests in bulk like I do! I think I wait five days and then test every two days after!
I don’t think I’d be able to control myself if I bought tests in bulk! But from memory I think I tend to test positive a bit late. I don’t think I got a positive with Riley until I was 5 days passed my missed period. And as my cycle is like clockwork I try to avoid looking at negative tests at all costs!