Yep. Technically I’m on a bloggy break. But I get to break my own rules. Because I am the Queen of Everything on my blog. That’s why I LOVE my blog.
I was ludicrously nervous and insanely excited to be speaking on the panel about finding your voice. It was so much fun. AllConsuming was the business as the moderator. THE BUSINESS. But in a short amount of time, you don’t always say everything you want to say. Or if you do, sometimes things simmer away for a little while afterwards and it keeps you up at night. Prodding you. THAT’S what you should have said, it says.
One of the questions that Kim asked me specifically as someone who writes about often controversial parenting issues is how I handle differing opinions. At the time I talked about being certain of what I was doing for my family. And that’s true. But it is only half the story. I think the other part of it is that when I present an opinion I have a goal in mind. And that goal is not to have people agree with me or tell me I’m right. My goal is that people listen and understand. And when I’m responding to conflicting opinions that is also my goal. I don’t aim to convert people to my way of thinking. But I’ll still passionately debate anyway, because that’s my thing.
I also talked about how when you hover over the publish button and you hesitate it means you should probably publish. Lady Melbourne vehemently disagreed with that and said you shouldn’t publish. I think both approaches have their place. On the one hand I am reserved in what I publish because I want my words to be able to stand on their own even when I’m not there to explain them. And I’m hyper aware of what my children will read or what other people will search for. But I think when you have that moment of hesitation I think it means something. I think it means you are about to take a risk. And I think that risk is worth it. Most of the time the risk is worth it. Because more often than not the hesitation isn’t because you are about to divulge something that shouldn’t be published or that would be insensitive to our family’s privacy. That hesitation is about revealing a truth about yourself. And if you tell that truth then you know who you are. And what is revealed is your voice. And it is worth it.
As an openly opinionated person, not everyone likes me. But the fact is that not everyone is going to like me regardless of what opinons I have, so I might as well be myself. In my real life as well as my online life if I’m expressing an opinion, especially a controversial one I think about whether it is useful or not. If I think it’s useful then I’ll probably say it. And I’ll probably say it in a passionate way. That’s who I am.
And it may surprise you to find out where being yourself will take you. One day you might find yourself up on a stage in between two blogging icons. And you will be surprised to find that you aren’t melting into the wallpaper. You are just being yourself. Because once you find your voice, that bitch is hard to shake loose.