The theory is you will never be given more than you can handle.
You might think that you can’t cope with it, but given the challenge, you will rise to the occasion.
It’s not always the case.
In the Bhagavad Gita Arjuna begged Krishna to show him his true form. Not his human form. But his true form of God. And he did. And it was so overwhelming, so awe inspiring, so horrifying that Arjuna, the great warrior, fell to his knees, pissed his pants and begged Krishna to show him his human form again. It was too much. It was beyond his ability to cope with it. To appreciate it. To understand. To be at peace with it.
And Arjuna was his greatest disciple. You can only imagine if the awe and horror of God had been shown to someone else, who loved him a little bit less, who followed him with a little less devotion, someone who was less of a warrior.
I like to think that all I need to do is remember my spine of stainless steel, straighten it, be who I am and I can handle anything. Sometimes it’s true, sometimes it’s not.
But sometimes it’s ok to be like Arjuna and be perfectly human and fallible.
First you trust, then you forge forward.
Today I wanted to crawl into a warm corner and hibernate. I wanted to hide under my blanket of depression warfare. But instead, I giggled with my toddler, I got my work done, I snuggled with my preschooler and kissed her grazes and I laughed with my friends.
And tomorrow, I will straighten my spine. And I will imagine that the spirit of Arjuna flows in my veins.