“I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and heaviness in my head” Adele – Don’t You Remember
Most people aren’t introverts or extroverts. They are on a spectrum. When I was twenty I was about ninety per cent introvert. It tends to change as you get older, move around. Some people more than others I suppose. Now, I’m probably about sixty per cent introvert.
Blogging conferences are hard work. I love going. I love meeting people. I love all of it. But it is exhausting. And along the way every insecurity known to man is laid bare. And it continues when I get home, while I’m still recharging. I don’t listen, much. But it plays there like a broken record. Over and over. It never gets sick of its own voice. I’m a good faker though. Sometimes I can even fake it for myself.
It’s worth it. A heady mix of friends, travel, geekery and independence. Being able to stop in the middle of a strange street to take a photo and have that be my only point of focus. And I get to eat alone. And sure it sounds weird to write that down or say it out loud. But doing anything alone is a bit like winning lotto. And eating alone is a bit like winning powerball.
At one of the sessions it was suggested that you should ask people why they read your blog. Putting aside the deeply terrifying nature of that question, I think I’d like to know. A couple of people answered me on twitter already. And now I’m asking you as well.
I like that it is as if you are having a conversation with your readers. Makes it more personal and real. Jacinta
I get that wanting and enjoying being alone. I’m an introvert too though way less shy and retreating than I used to be. When I get time away from the kids, I am more likely to want to be with myself than with lots of other people. Having said that, I’m willing to make the effort with others, such as at conferences, but also willing to sit on my own and enjoy what’s going on around, without too much fear or discomfort; it depends on what bites I get to my efforts to reach out.
I started reading blogs, your blog in particularly, when we were both pregnant with our second girls born a month apart. I found it intriguing to read your journey as mine was also unfolding. I continue to read your blog, when I get the chance, because your posts often speak to me and I am drawn to the way you write. As Glow said above, many feel a kindredness with your words, though few could probably put them together like you. You write succinctly and yet powerfully. Each word feels measured and purposeful. I find very few superfluous words in what you write and that is refreshing.
There are a raft of other amazing writers in the blogosphere, including the ladies above, but only you write the way you do. I would call that a gift.
Thanks Veronica! It doesn’t seem that long ago that our babies were wee, tiny little things!
Thank you! I love that line in You’ve Got Mail – ‘everything should start with being personal’. Yes, that just happened. I just quoted a Meg Ryan film to you. I apologise.
I love images too, but without a doubt it’s your disarming honesty. You’ve said, decided and shared things about blogging in particular I think are braver than most. I think about these things too and love hearing a really honest opinion- it’s informative, liberating and refreshing. (Speaking of, what does: “if twitter killed your blog then maybe twitter was your true platform”, mean?)
I’ve received a lot of criticism for that, so it’s good to hear the other side of it as well!
To explain that comment, what it means is that if people aren’t visiting your blog anymore because they are just hanging out with you on twitter it is probably because you are so awesome on twitter. And it probably means you are more of a micro blogger, than a blogger. I definitely felt that way to an extent at the Problogger event. Lots of people who I talked to knew me from twitter but were not familiar with my blog.
So glad I asked and you answered, because that describes me a fair bit. Thank you
I read your blog for you. I know that’s vague … but really that’s why I read anyone’s blog – because I like them as a person and am interested in hearing their thoughts about … pretty much anything really.
Oh that’s not vague Kelly! That’s a pretty cool thing to say.
I read because you write beautifully and I like you. You are a kindred spirit, although I am not good at geek, I certainly appreciate a good one
Kindred is definitely the first word that pops into my head to describe you too. xox
Totally with you on this one! My current level of out-thereness started as an experiment, and some days it feels so fake to be sociable and present confidently. It all started with pretending. After a truly awful time through primary school of being the weird new girl depressed in the corner devouring books (moving states and schools a gazillion times didn’t help me any) when it came time to go to high school (one where noone would know me) I decided to pretend to be someone else. I had nothing to lose. Things couldn’t have gotten any worse. So, I introduced myself to the other kids freaking out either side of me at the first day in assembly as if it was a completely normal thing to do. Lo and behold, they treated me differently to what I was used to. Interest, friendliness, encouragement. So I kept doing it.
I’m very sorry we didn’t get to talk more at the conference, it would have been lovely to get to know you better.
I read your blog for posts like this one, reflecting on issues like confidence and connectedness. I love your writing and your pictures are gorgeous too.
Thank you Rose. I’ve definitely mastered the art of pretend confidence in a work setting, in social settings I’m still working on it!
Would have been lovely to catch up more but those things are always such whirlwinds and are over way too quickly!!
I read because I really like the way you write. I wonder sometimes how you can take my (and many others I’m sure) unspoken million mile an hour thoughts and put them so eloquently in to words to the point where I think “YES! THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL!”
I think ‘me too!’ is the whole point of the internet. Thank you xoxoxox
Authenticity. Non preachy joyful slightly kinked voice about motherhood and how that journey is for you. My youngest is 8 and I feel like I have moved on from the stage you’re at but you interest me because your personality jumps out through your words, you have an interest in the wider world and you delight in your children. Plus you write really well!
Thanks Emma! I’m still at the stage where they dump playdoh balls into my coffee. That doesn’t end well for anyone!
I read your blog because you help me make sense of the world and you see things similarly to me but differently enough that I “learn” something too both about the world and myself. Xxxx
Thank you Cat! Your words mean a lot to me xox
I read because I’m at the end of the baby journey and at the threshold of the next phase, but I love how you capture it with your words and your photos. Plus I just like the way you think, and write
Because I love your guts. Also, you’re fierce and fearless, which are traits that always draw me to a person.
Plus you give good squeezes.
X
Best. Reason. Ever. Also squeezes are awesomesauce.
Thank you Kate! And thank you for being my blurt audience of one. xox
Hey Zoey. It was really lovely to see you again at ProBlogger. Those things are mad crazy, aren’t they? I read your blog because you have a unique perspective on life in general and I like how you express that. Like what you said about being able to eat alone. I so get that. There’s something very cool and liberating about having alone time.
xx
Thank you. It was great to see you! And yes, those things are very overwhelming! The day before I was sitting on a bench on the street in the freezing cold with icy winds eating a Lord of the Fries vege burger and I was in heaven. That’s when I knew my love for alone eating had reached a new level.
I read because I like your voice. I like the way you write and I like you.Yo also make me think, and that’s a good thing.
I like you too. Wish I’d had more time in Melbourne so I could have seen you! xox
I read because I like your openness and your honesty in the good times and the bad. I’ve skimmed over a few blogs who just seemed so cheery and fake and way too thought over.You are willing to be raw and open here for us to read and connect with you. Thats why I read.
keep on keeping on x
Thanks Meagan! Being fake cheerful makes me break out in uncontrollable sarcasm.
Yours was the second blog I ever discovered. I think I see bits of myself in you/your writing – a certain introversion and seriousness. Also your kids are a similar age to mine. And sometimes it is lonely as a stay at home mum! Is it strange to have so many complete strangers feel they know you?p.s. I can’t access your blog on my iPhone, is there a reason?
Thanks Natalie! It can be a lonely business – that is for sure! Probably the weirdest thing is that it doesn’t feel weird at all
As for the iphone – that’s weird because it works on mine and I have a mobile theme installed. Will it just not load or does the formatting come out all wonky?
When I access my email on my phone, I can read your emails, then if I click the link within the email to cross over to your blog, it takes me back to the home screen of my phone. When I googled your blog today (because I wanted to comment), when I clicked on the link, the same thing happened. I haven’t come across this issue with any other blogs or websites?
I’ve been to Blogopolis and I found that exhausting too – and it was only one day. It was great to read I am not the only one that finds this, because I’m kind of introverted too and I wonder how people cope with frequent blogging events. And that’s what I like about your blog. Apart from the fine and gentle writing, you are honest about your quirks and it’s very relatable.
They cope barely Rachel! And thank you for your lovely comments xox
I read because I understand. I get the thoughts you have, the musings and ponderings. I’m introverted too, but love that blogging is a way for the “inner extrovert” to get out and say things I could never say in person because I’d be too shy. So often I read and nod and say “YES!! Me too!”
Thank you. It’s what I like best about blogging – people who get it!
I read your blog because I find it to be thought provoking and intelligent. I love that most posts leave me with a good feeling. Like a happiness that someone can get it so right. Hope I guess?Zoey, your blog is on my “must always read” list. I don’t always have the time or the words to comment, like lately, but there are a handful of blogs I never skip past their posts. I always make the time, and if I need to keep going through my reader I will open the post in a tab to get back to later and leave it until I do finally get back to it to read.
Your kind and generous heart is splashed all over this blog and it makes me want to keep coming back.
Thank you Miss Pink! My head is now the size of a football field xox
I read your blog because you write beautifully and don’t skirt around the issue. You are honest and have a way with words that I love. You rock my blogging world and I’m so glad we are now connected Nx
Oh thank you Nat! It is nice that my friends love the words that I love too xox
hi Zoey, i discovered blogs through Twitter, and i started following your blog because it was nice to connect, however nebulously, with another Central Coast Mum … along the way i discovered you had strong and well-reasoned opinions, are responsive without pandering, and have a knack for photography. how’s that? xt
Thanks Tracey! That really is the best part of twitter!
I adore your girls. The stories about them, the baby wearing, breastfeeding, Riley’s independence… While there are many differences between you and I, there are also a number of ways our stories are similar when it comes to our girls.
I know you are moving away from being a parenting blog now, but I still feel compelled to read your posts for glimpses the parent.
Thank you Aly! And as much as I’m moving away from it, it will always be a core part of me and this blog.
I’m a fairly new follower but really it is simple: I love your thoughts, your honesty and the way you look at the world.
Thanks Jodi! It’s nice to here that people like the honesty
Honestly? I read your blog because it’s beautiful. You have a lovely way with words and you are inspiring. I come to your blog after a hard day for inspiration and to hear your clear thoughts and remind myself of goodness. Sorry if that’s really soppy/weird but it’s true. You breathe a lightness and spirit into your words that makes me come back.
Thank you Eva. Sometimes the occasional email you send me is the thing that keeps me wanting to blog.
I read because I like you and am interested in what you’ve got to say. I also like watching your girls grow up through your photos.
Thank you V. Your friendship means more than I could possibly say xox
So why I read your blog is because I think you are inspiring and a wealth of knowledge. Your photos are gorgeous and always inspire me in every way. And I want to be inspired by bloggers like yourself to help me on my journey to creating a wonderful space and community as well.
You have just inspired me to ask my readers why they read my blog xoxox
Thank you Tahlia! I think it’s such a great approach to thinking about blogging as creating a space and a community. Instead of thinking about brands and pageviews
When I started blogging, I read NO blogs. None. Didn’t really know what a blog was. I was a writer – not a blogger, ya know? (Ha!)
Then I started to hear about “the community” and wondered if I should be a part of it. Read a few blogs, was kind of underwhelmed. Kept doing my own thing.
Joined a writing group and linked each week. Started connecting with bloggers – all American. Ahhh, yes! “The community” is good.
This year, mostly via Twitter, I have – FINALLY – discovered “the community” in my own backyard. And slowly, I am uncovering the gems.
So to answer your question in the longest and most convoluted way possible, you are a gem. Bright, shiny but not all the edges have been polished off. I like that. The beauty of your photography with the rawness of your words.
Yep. That’s why. xx
Thank you Angie!
I have been so overwhelmed by everyone’s words. I’ll come back and read them whenever I’m having a low day.
xox
Hi Zoey, I read your blog for a pretty simple reason really. I love your photos! They make your blog beautiful and they inspire me to take beautiful photos of my family too.
Thank you Holly! That is a huge compliment xox